Embrace the flow

We haven't been back to the Yoga Space Leeds since last Oct for the workshop with Durga.. today we went back to spend some time with the director Nichi & her 'Embodying the Flow' workshop.. based around her working recently with Shiva Rea, we moved in circles.. a very strong class.. loved it

we have a new Ashtanga teacher.. 3 weeks in & i love it, he puts me in positions I assumed i would never get in.. its wonderful, he isn't afraid of seriously assisting people into positions

He has a weekend in the Lakes next June 2 weeks before AK.. i'm suggesting we do both ^^

I left physiotherapy again last Thursday, its been a very long process, June last year I met Peter & October Leslie & I started, the last session i had traditional acupuncture in my right lower leg, needles in 3 places, my leg went cold, then completely numb, after we finished & they were removed, i sat up & just cried.. very bizarre.. last time we finished on a scale of 1-10 we were at a 2, i would say i'm now at 0.5 & seem to have come out the other side, i'm no longer in a place of "this is never going to change" & i have sat in that place of disappointment for too many years.. i long for the day i wake up & its just gone...

BWYTW

5 days, 22 classes... much cake... fantastic company.. a handful of many photographs

YS44

4.4 The emergent mind fields springs forth from the individuality of I-ness (asmita).
(nirmana chittani asmita matrat)

• nirmana = produced, created, constructed, forming, arising, emerging
• chitta = minds, fields of consciousness
• asmita = I-ness
• matra = alone, individuality

Mind springs forth from I-ness: The mind springs forth from the extremely fine sense of individuality or asmita. It is I-ness itself, that is yet free from attractions, aversions, and fears.

Individuality and emerging identity: Recall that there are five colorings or kleshas, and that these emerge sequentially. First is avidya, or ignorance, and then comes I-ness, individuality or asmita. Then after there is an individuality, it starts to take on, or wrap itself in all sorts of attractions and aversions. Finally, once all of this false identity has been assumed, there is the fear of the loss of those identities. In such a way, the mind emerges out of the subtler form. The advanced yogi has mastery even over this process of mind emerging out of the root I-ness or asmita.

'Der Atmende Gott' ... Breath of the Gods'

We went to watch 'Der Atmende Gott' Breath of the Gods' last night.. Sheffield Showroom are also showing the film - Thursday 1st August 6pm

I am so pleased i found someone had written about the Krishnamacharya's Life saving yoga sequence... this fascinated me.. it was not taught again after Krishnamacharya's death, though T.K Sribhashyam revealed & taught this sequence to director Jan Schmidt-Garre after years of acquaintance during the filming of 'Der atmende Gott'

"The meaning of Yoga is concentration, concentration to the extent we can go" .. Alamelu Krishnamacharya

This film has had me deep in thought all day.. & I will probably go back & watch it a 2nd time at Sheffield as I have forgotton so much already.. as Jan swept the floor at the end of the film he said something about his interpretation of Yoga & for the life of me I can't remember what it was but it made so much sense.. if you have any interest in how modern yoga originated, the creation of savant T. Krishnamacharya, i recommend you watch it too, I have always been fascinated by where Yoga comes from.. reading books or pieces on the internet can be somewhat confusing... this film also sets straight some misconceptions.. Jan gets a lovely one to one with Pattabhi Jois, there is a lovely piece with BKS Iyengar, where he talks about his time with Krishnamacharya, a small thoughtful piece with Sharath Jois as Pattabhi Jois passed while the film was being made.. listening to his children, his students.. & some of the rare footage made me smile/shed a tear or wince (a lot)

I thought it was a beautiful film, though i can appreciate it will only appeal to those who already have an interest in its subject. I thought Jan Schmidt-Garre showed Yoga is for everyone, i liked that he was just an ordinary stiff westerner..
my only suprise was just how many people didn't turn out to watch the film.. if i were a teacher I would have taken my students to watch it

& why is so little spoken about Indra Devi - Mother of Western Yoga

Krishnamacharya's Life saving yoga sequence

I am so pleased i found someone had written about this after watching the film.... 
Krishnamacharya's Life saving yoga sequence... was not taught after Krishnamacharya's death, this was taught by his son to director Jan Schmidt-Garre after years of acquaintance during the filming of 'Der atmende Gott' 

http://grimmly2007.blogspot.co.uk/

Foundation 2

still one more to go.. but have passed the required hours to get the certificate =) 

AK demonstrating Neti last month

TT Year 2 Residential

Whirlowgrange - Sheffield - 15/16 June

Barsham Barns.. May 31-

such a lovely 3 day retreat with AK..

I miss the 8am pranayama, the lovely food & the practice on the big lawn

the practice room 

energy wheels

chakras.. if you ask me to imagine my mother sat in lotus in the palm of my hand. this will cause me amusement, firstly as my mother would say she has bad knees & can't 'do' yoga & lets face it i wouldn't be able to hold her in my hand so i'd drop her, serene & yogic is not quite the image that I can conjure.. i asked Colin yesterday if i was like my mother & he replied... i don't know your mother, we just get occaisional glimpses, i found this quite a profound but correct statement..

then ask me to hold my father between my hands in virabhadrasana 1... the only lasting image i have of my father is on a stainless steel table, skull split in 3 & very messy... this doesn't disturb me at all anymore, this is just how it is

& those people i am asked to think about while in firelog & then janu.. they no longer hold the disappointment I once had, they are just part of my past.. 

& Dudley.. who i once lost my temper with.. he is far wiser & forgiving than i.. i doubt he even remembers it..



i'm halfway on my Teacher Training & half way through my Foundation 2.... & as its always said.. when you are wanting to walk away from something.. this is when you really need to stay

I love my FC2, there is something about this teacher, she gives me a sense of calm/understanding that no other teacher does.. I could say its the Jivamukti.. her disciplined dance background.. maybe that is part of it.. i can't answer that, all i know is that she is my teacher for a reason, the day she told us a story about a woman who forgave the man who killed her son & then asked me to sit on her mat, that day so could have been avoided if she hadn't asked me about my personal practice... how could she know that hit a place in me especially just a few weeks on from Ian applying for parole a second time.... in another workshop a few eeks after she asked us to offer up our final wheel to someone who has a postive place in our lives & came & patted me on my belly whilst up there.... there are simply to many coincedences

I like my teacher training, maybe i will learn to love it.. eventually, i feel out of place.. i'm sure i'm not alone in that thought process

i'm fighting Yoga at the moment, the last 5 years of my life i've 'conciously' lived Yoga.. yet these past 5 years i haven't been as content as before.. is that the yoga process i'm going through.. its not a great place, the physiotherapy especially has really taken me to a place of great fear & it doesn't seem to be getting better, although i know it is, its just a very long process of  damage limitation & repair.. 

.. i can't pretend to be someone i'm not.. 

Deva Premal is here soon in the Nottingham playhouse £65.. i'd much rather pay to see someone i love for that money.... the yoga collective here (Derby/Notts) are all going ... i love chanting so much & Deva Premal & Mitten are great but i don't feel the need to be there..  just because.. 

i am the sheep of shades of grey & meerly a tiny piece of a huge jigsaw