AK, DS & PB

Out of the many many teachers I have worked with, there are only a few who during a workshop I have really gained some insight about myself, light bulb moments let call them...

I first experienced Jivamukti with Andrea Kwaikowski at a BWY AGM, she had a wonderful yet disciplined presence & a real sense of what a really good Yoga teacher should be, I really wasn't strong back then & I pushed myself too hard that day, I remember it well, & it stayed with me untill I got to work with her again, there are very few teachers who remember you let alone notice how you progress over the 6 months/year until you work with them again, I have no idea how Andrea manages this when her life is Yoga whether its as Advancd Jivamukti or BWY DCT, she must see hundreds if not thousands of students each year, what I love about Andrea is the way she makes you think about life on or off the mat & I always look forward to working with her again.

David Sye.. before I went to spend a day with David, I had some reservations having been told by a fair few 'older teachers' lets call them... that I wouldn't like him or his way of teaching, this is something I really don't like in Yoga, all teachers offer something different & just because one person doesn't like what another teaches doesn't mean someone else won't. We actually arrived first at Radbrook & were greated & hugged by David & I immediately felt at ease, he was the most honest & warm person i'm yet to meet in Yoga, his teaching was full of lightheartedness & laughter, working together & reaching our child within, & that we all live in a constant 'fear' on some level with most things in our lives, simple & comlex, we worked on a mirror imagination meditation & I could only see the mirror now at its worst not in 3 years time if I choose negativity, I realised after that day I am in a pretty good place, putting Gambit to sleep, Bailey going to Uni, ending more friendships at the begining of the year, putting my brother into a different box a little further away from me, realising I can actually be a Yoga teacher, for the first time I see people use Yoga as a tool to help them in whatever they need, the same way someone would mountain bike or climb mountains, I will never know enough but what I have learnt over the last 4 years from many many different/diverse teachers is enough for me to now work with my own interpretation of what Yoga is & means to me & how I can share that with others

Peter Blackaby, one Yoga teacher that turned my world off.... I always said I would never pay more than £35 for a workshop, Peter Blackaby was £45, he is due to come to Jasmine Trust this September but it falls on Teacher Training so I wouldn't get a chance to work with him, call it luck but he was at Bamford with Les Dike on 15th July & we got in very last minute, I had no idea really who this man was, he is an Osteopath & Grounded Yoga Teacher, humanist rather than spiritual & straight away he picked up on my movements & began to explain about tension, using me as a perfect example, I physically could not keep my left leg soft & rock on to my pelvis using just my right foot, neither can I abduct my leg without my left side pelvis coming off the floor, simply because I hold tension in my right lower back/pelvis/hip, now whether he is right & this comes from childhood, or as Andrea has previously given me thought on, the right side is male/father.... 16 years ago I damaged my right side, Peter made sense that no one should be injured for more that 4 weeks as the body heals itself.....who knows, i'm more inclined to take the view that I hold tension to protect myself from my ongoing injuries on that side, which is probably why I continue to injure myself, the day after I really picked up on how I stand/walk/yoga/exist holding a slight tension, like a slight muscle hold, releasing it I can even breathe better into my abdomen, & I have to say from that day to this I don't feel like I run 10k everyday or need the SAD lamp to wake me up in a morning, I no longer sleep as long, my blood pressure seems to have climbed to 108/60, my last really low readings were back in May 85/55 80/50, thats when I stupidly detoxed totally forgetting I need caffiene & salt to keep it higher, not very clever.

Even with so much positivity coming from seeing Peter Blackaby, I do wonder if I am grasping at yet another concept & in a few months time nothing will have changed, I wanted to write about this so I can look back & see if I was living in placebo, hoping/willing this to be what finally gives me some peace...